The 360 Degree Pivot
It would seem that I’ve pivoted 360 degrees. Since I started to change my business three and a half years ago there have been diversions and mini-pivots that all turned out to be a great planetary orbit back to where I started.
Let me fill in the back story. In 2019 I burned out big time, a contributing factor of which was the volume of one-to-one coaching work I took on. That wasn’t the entire reason (in hindsight being with an isolating partner had rather a lot more to do with it), but I treated it like the entire reason. I became scared of one-to-one work, scared of a calendar with any appointments in it, and I decided I had to pivot the business away from one-to-one.
I started selling more courses, I ran a membership, and while I never made the same kind of income as I did from one-to-one I was making it work for a time. And then I ended my relationship, began the process of selling my house, and everything became a bit blurry.
I was trying to figure out who I was, and rather than my business being a steadying constant through that time, it became part of the flux. Here lies one of the biggest problems that has underpinned the last six years – I never had any separation between my work and my Self. My work and my business were my only source of fulfilment, as well as being the yardstick by which I measured my worth. I was the business, and therefore when I changed, the business had to change too – but drastically.
Because I was dealing with such heightened emotions, such deep realisations, because I was walking through an alchemising furnace, so did my business. I decided, abruptly, that I was no longer a marketing person, that I would never talk about it again, thereby sledgehammering the foundation of my income for the previous four years. I started a pivot, but there was nothing yet for me to pivot into. I shifted the business into a vacuum, into an outer space darkness where we were both flailing and trying to make it look like control.
It is normal for your business to shift over time, to want it to line up with who you are as a person. I felt, at the time, that I had absolutely no choice but to change things and I didn’t – but I didn’t have a choice because I had an unhealthy co-dependence with my work. This deepened after I sold my house and moved. I felt that now was my time. That now I was free and living my own life I had the opportunity to shape my work into the most perfect, fulfilling shape – that I owed it to myself, or maybe, that I was simply owed it. As I began dating and figuring out this next chapter of my life my self, my worth and my work became even more deeply entangled – it was everything I had to offer, it was all I had to offer.
It was chaotic, this time. I forgot all the core basics and ran from shiny thing to shiny thing in search of The Answer. I was having ideas, ideas that were good, but instead of testing them, instead of going gently and asking questions, I decided they were The Thing and hurled every one of my eggs into their baskets – but because I had been so rushed to make the baskets their bottoms fell through as soon as I picked them up. I spent a year in my business wiping up broken eggs, and desperately wondering where I was going to get more.
This year my life settled. I moved back in with my parents. I fell in love. I found an ideal Head of Marketing job that was part time, meaning that the whirlwind could stop and I could figure things out without as much of a financial burden. I was supported, physically and emotionally. I was no longer far away with nothing but my work to keep me warm. I started a Substack which gave a home and an outlet for the creative fulfilment and goals I’d given up money-making activities to chase. I felt safe enough and steady enough to see what had really been going on with my business.
I could finally admit to myself that it wasn’t working, that it hadn’t been working for a long time. I burned it all down so that I could rebuild it in a better shape. I took my time; whenever I had an idea I questioned whether it belonged to the chaotic version of my work or the new version. I remembered the basics and sent surveys and asked questions and took heed of what people actually want and need. I began to reassess what I wanted and needed too.
I found myself at a remove from my business. Perhaps it was because, for the first time since I started it, I was in a healthy, loving relationship and no longer needed my work to love me. Perhaps it was because I had moved home and got a day job, meaning I’d hit “rock bottom” and it was fine; perhaps it was because these things meant I no longer had anything to prove. Perhaps it was because I was living in a place where I had more to fill my days than working and then going for a walk and thinking about work.
Whatever it was, I find myself thinking about my business differently now. I am more matter-of-fact, more measured, more strategic. I still want to enjoy it, but it is no longer my everything – and that actually makes me enjoy it more.
Which brings me to the end of that orbit. As I was reading survey responses, as I was thinking about how I could help, the same thing kept presenting itself as the solution: one-to-one creative business support. I have always known, even as someone who makes courses, that often the best solution is one-to-one – it’s the only way to get into the nuance of a problem, the only way to get true accountability, the only way to express what you really need. I have known it because it’s what I always want for my own business, and I have known it because it’s always been the way I’ve felt I’m best supporting people.
So, after a nearly four year pivoting journey away from offering one-to-one I’ve landed at a place where… I want to offer one-to-one. Because the problem was never the one-to-one, it was how I managed myself; it was my expectations. I have worked with clients quietly over the last few years, and I feel really happy to be re-launching this offering in the way I work with them – this is no longer me telling you what to do with your marketing but me workshopping ideas with you, reflecting back your biggest dreams, being a sounding board when you need one, getting you beyond where you want to go.
It feels like a relief, it feels aligned, it feels absolutely right. It feels like coming home.
I’ve created two brand new creative business support packages. They are structured in a way that creates the most momentum, meaning that instead of being on calls all the time you have support in your pocket and deep dives once you’ve had time to get things actioned. They are currently at beta launch prices and availability is low – click here to find out more about the packages and express an interest.
